What The?!

So I am watching the Travel Channel's show Deep Fried Paradise and they had a spot on deep fried bacon! Perhaps you did not get that, I said DEEP FRIED BACON!! They even said it is called "heart attack on a plate." Is this not the image one conjures up in the mind whilst hearing those words? Shame on a plate more like. To quote a patron who agreed to be on camera, "This is a heart attack waiting to happen!" So said the fat man to the deep fried bacon before he smiles and take a bite. But wait, there is also a deep fried hamburger! Fried in the same recycled sludge since 1912! Nothing says I hate myself more than a grease explosion in your mouth. Yet I thought The Baconator from Wendy's was at the top of dinner time debauchery. This my friends is why the rest of the world kinda hates us! Should I feel bad thinking about all this while I am shoveling leftover spaghetti into my own fat face? At least my supper tom foolery was home made. However, when I think about it, I really enjoyed Bennigan's deep fried wonder of a sangwich, The Monte Cristo.(-turkey, ham and cheese on wheat pressed overnight in the fridge and dipped in funnle cake batter and deep fried served with a side of Knott's Raspberry Preserve.)Magnificent! I am sure we can agree there are some big time stoners working in Taco Bell's R&D department. Think about it, Crunchwrap Supreme, double decker tacos, and half pound burritos featuring meat and taters only. I can faintly hear the strains of Glory, Glory, Hallelujah off in the distance.

Where did the time go!?

I haven't blogged for a while mainly because I haven't had anything interesting, funny or even down right droll to say. I haven't even had any good spam to throw out! Besides, my brains as of late look and feel like the picture and no it is not because of the drugs, it is the polar opposite, the lack there of!! School, life and such has put too many strands in old Duder's head , to quote a favorite movie. I should be on a strict regiment of chemicals to keep the mind limber, but, what the fuck. What are ya gonna do right? Maybe since school is almost over,(thank God) I'll have more time to ponder the secrets of the universe. As soon as I figure them out, you will be the first to know, I assure you. Especially if I invent warp drive or open a wormhole to the multiverse, which I am working on. SCIENCE!!!!!! Hey, Einstein did his best stuff while working as a patton clerk, right?

Yummy, Spamwich!!!!

Guess I picked the wrong week to stop sniffin' glue!!


So this is what ended up in my spam box today.

Then, said Mr Scaley, producing a small document from his pocket and

With this confidence will never ever leave you.

"To please the devil, ma'am," answered the baron.
and a father, is number one, under this here most fatal go!
figure dance before Mr Lillyvick.
closing address, and was by this time wound up to a pitch of impotent


And apparently some one had 'Fled the Yonghy-Bonghy -Bo, by the turkey who live on the hill no less.

Ahh, i am glad to have something worthy to blog about again.

Have you ever seen a man with 6 fingers on his hand?

I wonder how many people came up to this guy and said:
"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die."

News Flash (In Spam box)

This just in. According to

andrewbaca

Criminals enslaved bums

Details at 11.
What is this world coming to?!

Woes of the world at large

Yea, I know, I am a stooge for not updating this as often as I need to but shit has been either crazy busy or just don't have anything interesting to say. The last thing I want is this blog to become a twitter deal.( Not a slam against those who do it, just not for me.) I just don't see the point of letting the world know you are on the shitter or Starbucks ran out of Grande cups. Who gives a fuck! Are we not deluged with an obscene amount of data in our day to have to deal with more. No damn wonder why the world is bat shit crazy and stressed out.

Imbicility Afoot!

Finally, someone has done something worthy of this picture.

Last week I was in our local Secretary of State, aka the D.M.V. for most Americans. This guy at the counter, I'd say, in his mid 50's is on his cell phone directly in front of a sign that clearly stated that one should refrain form any and all conversations on a cellular device while being helped by the person behind the counter. Strike One. He was in the midst of arguing with the nice lady behind the counter on why he was required to have proof of insurance in order to get a license plate for a new vehicle purchase. Strike Two. Every time the nice lady told him what needs to happen in order to get things done in a proper manor, he apparently knew best because he kept saying, " no, you can't do that!" Further on in this fiasco, She asked him what kind of vehicle was it again. Answer, "A Winnebago." Next Question: "What model?" Response: "Uh, a chef-tine, chef something,.." "can you spell that sir?" "Uh, C, H, I, uh no, C, H,E...." Strike Three. (Worse yet he was trying to get help from the dummy on the other end of the phone who obviously didn't know either!)
He couldn't spell nor even say the word Chieftain! I wanted to punch him! Or at least get up and say, Man, Winnebago is a tribe, who runs a tribe a fucking Chieftain!!! Idiot! I was appalled that this guy was in the world breathing our air! Now I myself may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but, fuckin' a. That was just the beginning of a wonderful day dealing with people who ran into the cloud of stupid that day that must have decended upon the tri-county area.
Some wise advice when you are having a day such as that- Never go to a big box store or a Kroger to purchase a Green Dot Money Pack card. The clerk will only stare at you and stutter in confused tones.
Avoid driving. People will try to turn in front of you improperly by not using the turn lane and will cause a back up.
Better yet, if you encounter something real idiotic, just turn around and go home. Whatever it is can wait until the next day.