Funny Go Boom!!

Funny Go Boom!!

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Happy Holidays to all you Deckhands out there!!

Tis the season to get weird with your friends so have a good one, or two if you wish. Abide all you achievers, party on, be excellent to each other, that kind of thing. Peace on earth, equal rights, justice and good will to all!

So then, the mind drifts....


Lo then, a conquring vision decends on fiery feet. Seering a blinding condition of conclusion we then meet. Driving out evil that leadens thine heart, courses anew set on our chart.
I hath seen with shiny eyes, in the glow that ethereal light provides. Far future ages when summer is new, our kind will be chosen to prove itself true.
Fingers of lightning and fire were seen, twisting around structure in a sinister gleam. "Destruction!" It shouted at the frightened below, but they would not budge, they answered "No." Defiant they stood as the storm drew near, then someone burst; "This is our stand, we make it here! Our spirits are strong, it shall never control!" The masses hath spoken, they bore their soul.
With weapons raised and banners unfurled, humanity's final act in a dreadful world, said, our bond is our strength, no matter the cause, weather we wear whitey tighties or run around in bras!(Bah!)
I meant not to kill it, twas going quite well, but I broke out my stash, and all went to hell. But it's my poem, I'll do as I wish, so don't you threaten me with a dead fish. For those who got that, my hat's off to you. For those who didn't, here is something new. Below is a reference to a film of such merit, give it a look and roll up a carrot. Thank you..Goodnight!!! I'll be here all week! One trip to the salad bar please...........try the veal...............take two, they're small.....

Friday, December 23, 2011

Here's lookin' at you kid!


Nothing says dinner time like some nice Flank 'O Fisheye! Who wouldn't want their meal staring back at them? (This guy for one I'll tell ya!)Does it get all milky and blind lookin when boiled? Is it served whole or sliced? (I'll never know, but Andrew Zimmern might!)Sure it may be a posh dish in some parts of this world and that's cool man, but, I think it would be more fun to pin two of them into a giant Muppet head for a fantastic, albeit stinky, costume. Freak people out with those huge googly eyes! As for me though, I choose not to play with my food unless it plays with me first. And in this case, it just might do that.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Hung like a horse radish.


For some reason, this pic was not good enough for 'My Food Looks Funny' site so I shall deal with this myself. Ahem. As I was shopping not too long ago in the vegetable section of a local store I noticed this thing hanging about. With the convenience of current technology, I snapped a pic or two thinking it ought to make the cut on that website mentioned above. Alas, it was not to be however, for after waiting a few cycles, hide nor hare was too be seen of this funky looking root that puts me to shame. Upon reflection, it would have been much funnier if I lived in the town of Dildo.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Tough times all around.


You know it is lean times in this economy when Ronnie Mac himself is looking like Raggity Ann. So did Grimace and Birdie finally kick him out of MacDonaldland after Officer Big Mac arrested him for a heinous crime involving the Fry Guys? Did Hamburgler steal one too many cheeseburgers and he went bankrupt? Or perhaps this impostor was caught yellow handed making appearances unauthorized by MacDonald Corp or any of it's thousands of franchises and summarily sued for every nickle that poor schmuck had and has now been "reduced to the status of a bum" as Withnail would say. (If you are wondering who Withnail is, watch the film 'Withnail & I' and you shall see the light.)

Monday, December 19, 2011

Cthuthulu found!


"What in the name of John Wayne's Ass is that!?" It was the first words heard on the fishing boat 'Grouper Getter' when this weird creature was brought on board. Is it indeed one of the monsters described in any a number of H.P.Lovecraft stories? Is it the Creature from the Black Lagoon? It just goes to show that as humanity plumbs the depths of earth's oceans, a sailor's worst nightmare is doomed to surface once in a while. Can you imagine what that nasty thing must smell like? Of course, it is most likely a familiar species to many like a dogfish or something stupid, but, in the name of all things holy man! I have never seen something so ugly come out of the water since the movie Monster of Muscle Beach! Besides the point, who really knows what horrors are yet to be discovered in the deepest, darkest recesses of our oceans and waterways. Perhaps it is some strange mutation from all the garbage and other crap floating around out there courtesy of factories, big oil companies and power facilities, not to mention all the other environmental rapists and criminals who give the finger to Mother Earth on a daily basis. Humanity may never know.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

I found the fool.


Breaking news: Krinkles the Murderous Klown has been caught by none other than Mr.T. We now return you to your regularly scheduled nonsense. Stay tuned for more mediocrity mayhem ripped out of the either by yours truly.