Hmmmmm....I wonder...?

A tree falls in a forest, and no one is around to hear it. Does it make a sound? It should, unless that forest is in a vacuum which said forest simply could not exist because trees need air. What if the forest falls over and the tree still stands? Then that would mean it is I who am observing the tree and for some odd reason, succumb to gravity on either side and fall over. But, what reason would that be? Drunkeness? No, that is more of a heaving and weaving so in lieu of falling it would be a disastrous whirlwind of the entire forest spinning about me, like a B horror picture. In an altered state? That could happen, only if it's what I am feeling on the waves transmitted through my aerials of how the universe is ebbing and flowing at that particular moment. Then slowly.....oh so slowly... as if in a dream.....I drift down.... to the pillowy coolness of the forest floor. Twigs and sticks snap and crackle, the warm sunshine breaks through leaves and branches. Like watching an episode of Bob Ross while lounging on the sofa, digging on all the happy trees. So soft, so comfy. A great day for a dream, to chase a few clouds scrolling across blue skies, making me roll onto my back, take a deep breath and smile. Then the bugs come. Ants, ticks, beetles, skeeters, gnats, spiders, and other manor of things that only an Entomologist would know what the fuck they were. What the hell!? I didn't sign up for this!! Why!? A consequence of the decaying vegetation I so foolishly layed myself onto. Geeeeze!!!