Brain woes

You know your ass is tired when you fail not once but twice making a simple grilled cheese sangwich! Then you get booted out of the kitchen for waisting said cheese. Fuckin bummer man. The picture you see is the best way I could describe what was going through my head the second time I botched something that time tested always came out perfect no matter what. I must digress however. I just became a Father for the first time on Monday. So as rewarding as this experience is, true rest for me is a thing of the past. Perhaps when Little Dude is older, I will be able to resume a normal sleep schedule, but until that time long restful sleep will elude me. It is worth every minute though!

To ponder deep things.

Wouldn't be awesome to have your very own radio station, and be able to play whatever the fuck you wanted? If I could be involved in that strange venture, I would be hashin' out some classic B sides from some of the greatest bans ever, such as Rush, Pink Floyd, Iron Maiden and way too many to list really. The station would be known as WKNF -The Knife Deep cuts radio!!! Let it Bleed!! These days, the standard run of the mill stations rule the radio waves. Nationally syndicated shows,( go back to syndicating Dr. Demento damn it!) the same type of morning shows, and songs that are overplayed, songs that suck and a rare jem, just to keep you interested. I mean, do you ever hear The Trees by Rush on any of your radio stations? Never, they play about a handful of what is in the catalog. Damn shame too. Same goes with any great artist. After while the only new albums out are 'best of ' collections. It's even more lucritive when you are gone. Look at the Elvis Estate and The weird "gloved one" himself! (heee heee!) I think that the mothership came for them.( Caution, topic car is veering off course!) I seen a work of art recently that depicted Elvis in the backseat of a floating pink Caddy being piloted by two green outer space aliens! It was called-Elvis has left the Building. I feel like a dick, but I can't remember the artists name. If the small percentile chance happens that you sir are reading this, I truly apologize for forgetting, but, you know who you are. So yes, Elvis really was an alien. And so was Michael Jackson. There, I said it. The space lizards dwell among us. Sure it might not be true, but if it was would we even be allowed to know? (hmmmmmmm....) Alert! Topic car is back on course!) Well it was before I decided to be an imbecile and change my font just for, how you say... craps and ha ha's no? I guess this will have to do then. OK, what the fuck, it just corrected itself. Weird. Perhaps someone is trying to tell me something that the lizards know that I know so they want to let me know that they know that I know. Ya know? Ooooo, that would be just the most suttle way to do buisness right. All cloak and dagger like. I call shenanigans! I'll have none of their skulduggery! I will not subscribe to such preposterous madness!! Or will I? Buuuuaaahhhhahahahahahaha ha ha.....ha. Well for the sake of no more self embarrassment, I'll move right along back to the original tirade on pergressive rock classics. Just crawled inside of Alan Parson's Project- 'Tales of mystery and imagination' ( on vinyl, dig it!) great album to space out on. Can you dig it? Can you dig it? I said, Caaaaaann Yoooooo Diiiiiigg et!!!

Egad! What sorcery is this!?

This just in the spam-box-

Uncle too was in high spirits and far from being offended by the brothers and sisters laughter it could never enter his head that they might be laughing at his way of life he himself joined in the merriment.
Goodness gracious.

Seriously folks, I can't make this shit up. I f the first part of the message made any sort of sense, I would have diligently posted it for you, my adoring audience.

Now for some trivial trivia- In the 1966 Batman series, the bat-pole activation switch was located in a bust of a famous person. Who was it? William Shakespeare.

My advice-

When life is coming at ya in full force, and when chaos is king, just remember, everything will be just fine.

What The?!

So I am watching the Travel Channel's show Deep Fried Paradise and they had a spot on deep fried bacon! Perhaps you did not get that, I said DEEP FRIED BACON!! They even said it is called "heart attack on a plate." Is this not the image one conjures up in the mind whilst hearing those words? Shame on a plate more like. To quote a patron who agreed to be on camera, "This is a heart attack waiting to happen!" So said the fat man to the deep fried bacon before he smiles and take a bite. But wait, there is also a deep fried hamburger! Fried in the same recycled sludge since 1912! Nothing says I hate myself more than a grease explosion in your mouth. Yet I thought The Baconator from Wendy's was at the top of dinner time debauchery. This my friends is why the rest of the world kinda hates us! Should I feel bad thinking about all this while I am shoveling leftover spaghetti into my own fat face? At least my supper tom foolery was home made. However, when I think about it, I really enjoyed Bennigan's deep fried wonder of a sangwich, The Monte Cristo.(-turkey, ham and cheese on wheat pressed overnight in the fridge and dipped in funnle cake batter and deep fried served with a side of Knott's Raspberry Preserve.)Magnificent! I am sure we can agree there are some big time stoners working in Taco Bell's R&D department. Think about it, Crunchwrap Supreme, double decker tacos, and half pound burritos featuring meat and taters only. I can faintly hear the strains of Glory, Glory, Hallelujah off in the distance.

Where did the time go!?

I haven't blogged for a while mainly because I haven't had anything interesting, funny or even down right droll to say. I haven't even had any good spam to throw out! Besides, my brains as of late look and feel like the picture and no it is not because of the drugs, it is the polar opposite, the lack there of!! School, life and such has put too many strands in old Duder's head , to quote a favorite movie. I should be on a strict regiment of chemicals to keep the mind limber, but, what the fuck. What are ya gonna do right? Maybe since school is almost over,(thank God) I'll have more time to ponder the secrets of the universe. As soon as I figure them out, you will be the first to know, I assure you. Especially if I invent warp drive or open a wormhole to the multiverse, which I am working on. SCIENCE!!!!!! Hey, Einstein did his best stuff while working as a patton clerk, right?

Yummy, Spamwich!!!!

Guess I picked the wrong week to stop sniffin' glue!!


So this is what ended up in my spam box today.

Then, said Mr Scaley, producing a small document from his pocket and

With this confidence will never ever leave you.

"To please the devil, ma'am," answered the baron.
and a father, is number one, under this here most fatal go!
figure dance before Mr Lillyvick.
closing address, and was by this time wound up to a pitch of impotent


And apparently some one had 'Fled the Yonghy-Bonghy -Bo, by the turkey who live on the hill no less.

Ahh, i am glad to have something worthy to blog about again.