It's Finally Over!

     Have you ever felt like this while waiting forever? Does someone need to get done doing whatever it is they are doing because your life is becoming a Snicker's commercial? "Not going anywhere for a while?" I'll tell you what, this chap here has gone way beyond that stage, and has left Rip Van Winkle in his dust. Yet it's ironic that they have something in common, with the whole RIP aspect going for them. I know many of us probably felt the same way this past holiday season, am I right? If the circumstance arises again, shall I suggest this as a joke, or perhaps a passive-aggressive way of showing your utter disdain for the situation at hand? When you have more important things to do beside wait, and wait, and wait even longer, it's time you replace yourself with Mr.Lazybones and either go do what you want, take a short walk on a nice day, or  what have you. Call 1-800-272-4000 or send three easy payments of $19.95 and $3.00 shipping and handling to 'Fake O Products' P.O. Box 7090 Walla Walla Washington, 15151 We have an exciting line of products to tickle your fancy and pique your interest. But wait there's more! If you act now, you will also receive a half used stick of lip balm, festering with God only knows what. (all checks ran through Sawtooth National Bank and are non refundable.) Supplies are limited, call now!!

All I Want For Christmas...

Nothing says I am a fan of The King like a King Size guitar of buttery delicious popcorn right!? I wonder if it's Peanut Butter and 'Nanner Sammach flavor hiding in those puffs of yum. One can just imagine him saying,
 "Hey there...come buy my popcorn baby, uh huh...I got lots of flavors, like, cheese, original, caramel , toffee, peanut butter 'nanner, Burnin' Love for all you hot sauce efficianatos out there and... my personal favorite...Bacon baby, oh yea..uh huh. So TCB with some this here popcorn,  brought to you by me, Elvis Presley. Thank you very much.."
(If you did not read it with The King's voice in your head, or at least Bruce Campbell as Elvis in Bubba Ho-Tep, you have problems.) So, chow down America! I salute you!!

E=MC..Scared..?

This is probably one of the best mash ups I have ever seen, I mean holy shit dude, that is fucking funny! Well done unknown artist! I should take the trouble and use the power of the internet to find out said artist's name and give props, or I could just be lazy and say fuck it, post and be done. I am sure the occasional passive reader couldn't care less either. Well if they did, would it be enough to chide me in the comments section? To which my response would be something akin to a dog getting it in the snout when he peed on the rug. Peed on the fuckin' rug. So much for tie'n the room together. Then again, a meme is viral in nature so...., well, it's like this.. do we need to hunt down the first person to spread the flu? I think not. Stay freaky my friends!

You don't Say?!

Today your Captain brings you more weird shit from the interweb! Yea, like I have the market cornered on that! For me it is just more eye popping madness found as I sojourn across the cyber sea from all destinations of oddity. We can safely say that this old bat took the 'Brown Acid' back at Woodstock and simply never returned from that trip. One of Timothy Leary's ever faithful who bought into the expansion of consciousness and refused to grapple with the boundless and harsh realities around all of us. Enjoy your ride Granny, I am sure one day I'll run into you on Venice Beach or somewhere in Greenwich Village. Maybe even at Burning Man for that matter. That is, if I ever get my mitts on the cash for a Winnebago, fuel, supplies and lots of good drugs to chase after my elusive personal American Dream.

And then, there was this guy.

Somewhere along the line, things went down hill for Popeye. Once a mighty sailor of the seven seas, now reduced to a carnival sideshow attraction. It seems his bloated forearms have migrated up to where the're suppose to be. A sad side effect from Spinach Abuse seems to be blindness. I would sight the weight loss, but we can blame Whimpy for that, eating up all the hamburgers in sight. What a fuckin' bummer. So my friends, raise a glass, pop a pill, spark a doobie or what ever your flavor, to Ol Bug-eyes here in honor of his ultimate weirdness he brings to our increasingly mundane and dull society. Sure there is plenty of strange to be seen on the interweb, but how does it get there? Now days everyone has a camera in their pocket, which changes the game in my opinion. Back in the day, when someone did something out of the ordinary, it was forever ingrained into the observers memory, or by chance caught on the local news by some misfortune. Now, it seems that when a person is caught in the act, it is the sole purpose to have it go "viral".  To me, it feels not as genuine as it use to be. But, then again what do the fuck do I know!?

Holy Crapola!

I just realized how long it has been since I had a good opportunity to blog! Since fucking November!? Well, when in doubt, Go Ape!! Doobaleeabah!!Fear no true believers, I will have more madcap misadventures to reports and continue to sink to low levels of mediocrity for you Deckhands to enjoy. I just need to get my groove back, find my cool once more, bring the mojo I once had many moons ago. Sobriety tends to have a downer effect on the creativity for me anyway. As the great Gonzo journalist Dr.Hunter S. Thomson said once, " I don't advocate drugs, alcohol or insanity. It's just in my case, they worked."

More from the WTF Files!

I have absolutely no clue of what this strange creature is, mainly because I forgot to write what it was when I found the pic, so my bad. We can however speculate to no end to what this insect is. Sometimes you feel like a nut I suppose. In our speculation and conjecture, it is my hypothesis that some native tribes probably consider this a tasty snack to be served with other spiders and grubs from the jungle.  Either that or that is just one of those things a person sees while on a hallucinogenic substance whipped up by the tribe's Medicine Man. If that's the case, I can only hope that this bug imparts some sort of wisdom to the psyconaught on their journey of mental exploration as they plumb the depths of the mind. Good luck, and Godspeed. I certainly would not want to wake up to an army of these invading my campsite. They could be poisonous and bitey and I can not abide biting insects of any sort that crave the flesh of the human beast.