Newsflash!! The real Dirty Harry revealed!

My first thought when I seen this was, ' Hey look, it's America's gun control policy.' As much fun as it would be to leave it with that simple statement, I do so enjoy beating every joke I can out of something. This could very well make a great commercial, you know, some clever product placement. Nothing says "buy this product" like a chimp getting ready to unload a bunch of pain into your face! Is this indeed a right turn for Clyde? (yes, I know the real Clyde is an orangutan) Indeed we can derive some mirth form this mindfuck presented before us such as, imagining his voice sounding like an old time gangster. "Say..back off screw!! Maa Maaa!" I would look for more deeper representation in this but, nahh. I am in no condition to wax philosophic this time. Mainly because I don't feel like sitting up all night probing the details of something that may not even exist.

Today's nugget of truth.

Who can come down on a cat that just wants some junk food. Wait, I can guess the answer to that and it all has to do with politics. If there were any sense in our government, our little green friend would be decriminalized, taxed and regulated like alcohol and then the fun governors and groove mashers would see budget deficits disappear and more people being generally happy. Crime would be reduced, because when a prohibition ends you eliminate an element of said criminality. Maybe someday when the closed minded and fooled see the truth of reality.

I'm a bug! Neeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

Oh, let me guess what happened here! An office party gone terribly wrong? Maybe his co-workers knew he had a nylon allergy, didn't like him very much, pinned him down and stuffed this apparatus on his skull and this is the shot of him leaping up from the floor screaming!! Could we also say that it is the only way he can feel like an authentic crotch? Could he harbor a strange balloon fetish perhaps? A desperate cry for attention to fill the inadequacies of being the office outcast? Oh yes, he is indeed "funny" but at what expense? I am going to go with dignity on this one gang. Although if this pic was a short looped video of him bouncing back and fourth really fast with Yakkaty Sax by Boots Randolph playing, ( better know as the theme music to The Benny Hill Show), watching it stoned I would probably piss myself laughing.

Hey man, it's not my fault.

It's true folks. Since the last post, there were a series of technical difficulties, lack of blog-able material and serious lack of creativity. I couldn't even find a suitable pic of a real Stimpy cat! What a bummer man. All I can do now is make the following suggestions, smoke em' if you got em', boogaloo til ya puke, never eat spinach with a stranger, don't piss on an electric fence, and practice safe sex. Get down with your bad self!!!!

Cartoon characters in real life.

If you were expecting another weird tale about some crazy insect, sorry to disappoint. Maybe in the future I may revisit that subject. You nearly got some far out poem so perhaps luck is with you this day and are spared that drivel. Instead, I coughed up this little diatribe on how some cartoon character would look if they were real. I am not the only one and eventually I will cover all I can find. Now, on with the segment. Here we have Ren Hoek from certainly one of my favorite cartoons of all time, Ren & Stimpy. Soon as I find a suitable Stimpson J. Cat, I will certainly show you. So, there you have it. Ren in the flesh. "Siiiiiimmpy! You bloated sack of protoplasm! You filthy wooooorrmm!!"

Not buggin you am I?

I honestly thought about doing actual research for this piece, to if anything spell names right and to know exactly what I am dealing with here, but sometimes it is more fun to let the imagination fire off a few rounds of fun right? I think that the size could be deciving us because there is nothing realy to compair size ratio to, it could be this tiny fucker, but, will we ever really know? Would we want to know? Especially if the answer is that thing is big as your fist or better? However, if it tasted like shrimp, would you eat it? I would. And it would be delicious! I can just hear the hisses and jeers and eeewwwws of those who would disagree with that statement. I refer you to the disclaimer below. Besides, if this thing is indeed from our planet and or dimension, someone out there has done the deed. (If so, please be so inclined to share your experience with the rest of the class.) The thing looks like the creature in Wrath of Khan who's larva was introduced to Captain Terrel and Cmndr. Chekov. I can almost hear it's skittering across hard surfaces. Swarming..... colonizing...... taking over!!!

Yeeaaaahhaahhaa!!! What the hell IS that!?

I have decided to stay on the entomology kick to showcase a few odd looking bugs. This fella here is most certainly one of the last things I want to see crawling on my flesh late at night! No sir! At least I would be able to see it. I am sure if that were to happen, all that would be seen of me is asses and elbows heading toward the nearest exit. Not that I am a coward mind you, I mean the shock value alone of having been woken out of a dead sleep by the likes of that would send anyone to their feet in a hurry.