This is a test...of an Emerging Broadcast System,

Woa Hoa Beebaaaahhhh!!! Excuse the hiatus ladies and germs, but I needed time to figure out the new workings of Blogger Dashboard. Of course in the coming days I shall bring back the low levels of mediocrity that you expect my adoring Deckhands and Oatmeal heads! I still have plenty Galactic Dating Service adds in store to mangle your medullas! So many in fact that it will keep me busy for a while. Until next time, terminate your links, break your broad-bands and sink into the goo of the Oatmeal Seas!!!

What the Hell!?

Still trying to figure out how to post a pic on this new forma bullshit from my saved files on the computer, so far cannot do it. Must be no longer allowed or some shit. I just want to make fun of other peoples pictures!!!! AAARRRRRRGGGG!!!!!

Look no further Gents!

Spring is in full swing and everyone is looking for love, even "Edith" here! She is a Libra with a Venus retrograde, enjoys flying saucer joyrides, super-science, lasers, astrophysics, and quantum mechanics.After analyzing a cross section of human cuisine, her favorite is Northern European. Just kidding folks, it's ice cream, fudge, potato chips, sushi, avocado, peanuts and pizza, or all of  that on a pizza, affectionate known as The Shaggy.

More...? Really? Yes!!

Meet "Ted". He just arrived on Earth last week and is looking for friends to show him around town, have a few drinks and see the sights. "Ted" is a Cloapian from Sentarra III, an M-Class planet just outside the Izar Ecliptic. He enjoys Backgammon, silly earth programs and any kind of cheese. All new discoveries for this far out extra-terrestrial tourist. On his home-world, clearly marked upon his cowl, "Ted" showed great promise as the planets foremost  author of archaic "novels" about digressing civilizations until his last read  was a total failure. Hence why he chose our particular toilet to explore, gathering as much torrid information as possible for the masses on Sentarra III.

Thank you sir! May I have another?!

I thought I would leave all those mushy minds of yours out there alone for a few days but there are still plenty of eligible intelligible weirdies out there in space, so on with the creature feature!!
Greetings from planet Disco hidden someplace in the M52 system! Say hello to "Ralph", (originally Gnerrrtz, but in human speech it sounds like a sneeze.) When you wish upon this star, you are guaranteed to get super far! He's got all the sweet moves on the dance floor and you're sure to score. Let him shuffle his way into your heart's door.  Spunk and style that goes the extra mile, Ralph will surely make you smile!

Even more Weird Fuckers from Outer Space..

Who's that gent in the purple cape that exudes other worldly charm you can't escape? Why it's Proteus! "Lenny" to you earthlings. This intergalactic playboy knows how to have a stellar time no matter where he goes. Proteus is a Leo with a Jupiter rising and comes from a place in the Hubble Deep Field, a planet orbiting the star we call M109 known as Norp. As a dealer in Keebis and other rare metals,he can really get around, but, his work doesn't stop him from partying down with the locals and hitting some Plutonium Nyborg. He also enjoys movies, card games, binary sunsets and gals who are not afraid to cry. Take a chance on him and he will show you a galaxy of pleasure!

Congratulations to the 600th Buttery Rich Visitor!!

That's right! Whoever you are on this giant piece of rock that supports life in our solar system, here is Six Hundred Schmucks in Chump Change, (there is another bill on the bottom, honest!) Remember, the official currency of abysmal mediocrity can only be spent in the theater of your mind so, don't spend it all in one place! Woa Ho Beeebaaahhhh!!!

Thank you for your patronage,

-Sir Erasmus Fontlaroy